1. Sit up front, smile, and say "Amen" every time he says something good. He will preach himself to death.

2. Pat him on the back and tell him what good work he is doing in the church and community.  He will work himself to death.

3. Increase your offering to the church.  he will suffer from shock.

4. Tell him you've decided to join the visitation group and help win souls for the Lord.  He will probably suffer a heart attack.

5. Get the whole church to band together and pray for him.  He will get so efficient that some other church will hear about him and give him a call.  That will take him off your hands.
 

(Author Unknown)